A Little History Lesson…. part 1

Hello, I’m Tanis and I’m a food addict.  I am definitely powerless over food and my life has become miserable and unmanageable.  I need help.

I am part of a family of addicts and I’m not a stranger to a 12 step program.  As I look at my relationship with food, I have finally realized that I have an addiction, just like my dad had to cocaine and my two adult kids have to heroin.  The only difference between my addiction and theirs is that I NEED food to survive so I can’t just stop cold turkey, and my addiction is more socially acceptable because it’s not illegal.

All my childhood and teenage years I was skinny, super skinny.  I was a size 0/2 and 105lbs when I got pregnant with my son when I was 17 years old.  I had a fast metabolism and could eat whatever I wanted.  I didn’t do any type of exercise program or anything.  I gained 75 pounds while I was pregnant and only lost 45 pounds before I got pregnant with my second son at 19.  I was 135 pounds when I got pregnant and gained 75 pounds with him, weighing 210 when I gave birth.  Throughout the next 8 years I would lose and gain and lose and gain.  My lowest weight during that time was 156lbs.

When I was 27 years old, about 185 lbs, I was at the park with my boys, we were getting ready to leave and I put my foot on one of their skateboards and it started to slide out from under my foot.  I put a little more pressure on it to try to stop it from moving and it flipped up and I went down.  My left ankle buckled underneath me and snapped on both sides.  I was in so much pain.  I had to have surgery so they could put a 5 in plate and some pins in my ankle to connect it back together.  This was the worst experience of my life.  I had to be off my foot for 6 weeks, every time I got up and my foot was no longer elevated, my foot would throb and I would be in excruciating pain for 30-60 minutes.  I was a single mom, my boys were 10 and 8 years old, and they had to take care of me.  I couldn’t even make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, let alone make a decent meal for them.  This was such a depressing time of my life.

Over the next 3 years I gained 55 pounds and hit my highest weight (until now) of 240 pounds.  I continued to yo-yo, but every time I lost weight I would gain it back plus some.  I tried so many things to lose the weight: Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, 6 week body makeover, cabbage soup diet, herbal life, hydroxycut… the real question is, what didn’t I try?  I started researching lapband at that time and considered it, but decided it was too much of a drastic solution and disregarded the thought.

to be continued…….

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One thought on “A Little History Lesson…. part 1

  1. Recognizing your challenge is the first step in recovery so congratulations on that first step. It’s not about willpower or special diets – it’s about physiology and your spirit within.

    You can be successful! You need a champion and to surround yourself with people who will hold you accountable as well as someone who will encourage, teach you how to sensibly lose weight and explain why you self-destruct when you get close to your goal.

    It is never easy to take control of losing weight but it is certainly worth the journey because only you can conquer food addiction and when you do you’ll feel victorious. Keep going and I will cheer you on! Blessings,

    Liked by 1 person

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