Hello, I’m Tanis and I’m a food addict. I am definitely powerless over food and my life has become miserable and unmanageable. I need help.
I am part of a family of addicts and I’m not a stranger to a 12 step program. As I look at my relationship with food, I have finally realized that I have an addiction, just like my dad had to cocaine and my two adult kids have to heroin. The only difference between my addiction and theirs is that I NEED food to survive so I can’t just stop cold turkey, and my addiction is more socially acceptable because it’s not illegal.
All my childhood and teenage years I was skinny, super skinny. I was a size 0/2 and 105lbs when I got pregnant with my son when I was 17 years old. I had a fast metabolism and could eat whatever I wanted. I didn’t do any type of exercise program or anything. I gained 75 pounds while I was pregnant and only lost 45 pounds before I got pregnant with my second son at 19. I was 135 pounds when I got pregnant and gained 75 pounds with him, weighing 210 when I gave birth. Throughout the next 8 years I would lose and gain and lose and gain. My lowest weight during that time was 156lbs.
When I was 27 years old, about 185 lbs, I was at the park with my boys, we were getting ready to leave and I put my foot on one of their skateboards and it started to slide out from under my foot. I put a little more pressure on it to try to stop it from moving and it flipped up and I went down. My left ankle buckled underneath me and snapped on both sides. I was in so much pain. I had to have surgery so they could put a 5 in plate and some pins in my ankle to connect it back together. This was the worst experience of my life. I had to be off my foot for 6 weeks, every time I got up and my foot was no longer elevated, my foot would throb and I would be in excruciating pain for 30-60 minutes. I was a single mom, my boys were 10 and 8 years old, and they had to take care of me. I couldn’t even make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, let alone make a decent meal for them. This was such a depressing time of my life.
Over the next 3 years I gained 55 pounds and hit my highest weight (until now) of 240 pounds. I continued to yo-yo, but every time I lost weight I would gain it back plus some. I tried so many things to lose the weight: Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, 6 week body makeover, cabbage soup diet, herbal life, hydroxycut… the real question is, what didn’t I try? I started researching lapband at that time and considered it, but decided it was too much of a drastic solution and disregarded the thought.
to be continued…….